October Renewal, Part 2: In Favor of Imbalance

I have a confession to make. I'm obsessed with balance. There are the usual things of course: work/life, diet, mental health, yoga postures, budgets. But for most of my adult life, I've tried to balance things beyond myself. As if I could be quiet enough to balance a very boisterous person in the room. Calm to balance chaos. Cautious to balance disregard. Meek to balance aggressive. Unassuming to balance brash. Practical to balance impulse.

You'd be surprised how often it works. Frankly, it has made me pretty darn good at my job. What it doesn't do is actually create balance in my life. So for a little while now I've been working on creating balance for my life instead of for the entire world around me. You would think that would seem less daunting, but it is pretty hard to give up the whole world balancing thing.

And then I discovered something awful. sickening. terrifying. And also wonderful. liberating. transformative.

I can choose to be off-balance.

I can leap without looking into whatever I want - an activity, a book, a project, a relationship, a hobby, a job, a moment - and completely, totally immerse myself in it. I can explore and stay focused on anything I choose and ignore whole other areas. If I don't balance it with a counter activity the whole world keeps spinning. True, something may not get done in favor of my chosen focus and there may be those who are used to me creating their balance who are surprised when it is no longer done for them. But the world keeps spinning as it should.

My meals this month certainly don't look like the pictures of a balanced, food pyramid diet. (I could go on obsessively now about the food pyramid, but I'll try to get to a recipe here in short order.) I've removed a couple of entire "food groups," for crying out loud. I've tinkered with traditional recipes and made the same thing 5 slightly different ways just to see the difference. I've let dishes pile up.

The imbalance was worth it to create my perfect version of bangers and mash. I'm getting there on colcannon this week. Yeah, I am obsessed with mashing up sweet potatoes and yams right now, especially with apples added. I'm committed. I also made my own mayo for tuna salad and made sauce to go with spaghetti squash. Like I said, messing with tradition.

Bangers & Mash - my way and with candles

Ingredients:
2 sweet potatoes - peeled and chopped into about 2" pieces
2 apples - peeled and chopped into about 2" pieces
Splash coconut or hemp milk
3 chicken-apple sausages - sliced
1 large sweet onion (like Walla Walla), halved and sliced
Couple handfuls of spinach
Splash(es) chicken or vegetable broth
Tbsp. coconut or avocado oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Directions:
For mash, boil potatoes and apples together 10-12 min. with a pinch of salt until soft. Drain, add back to pan, add splash of milk, and blend with an emersion blender until very smooth. (This puree tastes like candy. Try not to just eat it all out of the pan right now, but I totally won't judge you if you do.)

Meanwhile, add oil to pan and warm over medium heat. Add onion and cook until it begins to caramelize. Add sliced sausage to brown and warm. Add a bit of broth if starts to stick to pan. Add Add handfuls of spinach, along with a splash of broth and salt and pepper. Stir to combine and cook until spinach is wilted in. Serve side by side or on top of mash. This is also good over eggs the next morning, especially if you already ate all the mash.

Making mayo - recipes everywhere online.
I love my new immersion blender and keep making up reasons to use it.

What would happen if, in this moment, you jumped off the balance scale and into... your chosen whatever. Leap into your life and eat it up, my friends.


Here is all the stuff I ate this week, again for the food nerds like me. As you can see, I ate a lot of the same thing and tried it different ways and for different meals - consumed with finding what I liked best. 

Oct. 8

Breakfast:

1 c coffee with unsweetened hemp milk

1 poached egg w/salsa

Banana

 

Lunch:

Curry with roasted chicken, yellow squash, green cabbage, carrots, onion, garlic, and basil topped with avocado. With light coconut milk and chicken stock 

 

Dinner:

Brewer's salad minus cheese and with vinegar/olive oil dressing 

My version of bangers and mash: sweet potato/apple mash w/coconut oil & milk

apple-chicken sausage w/carmelized onions and spinach

 

Oct. 9

Breakfast:

2 c coffee with coconut milk

2 scrambled eggs w/leftover apple-chicken sausage w/carmelized onions and spinach

2 plums

 

Lunch:

Curry with roasted chicken, yellow squash, green cabbage, carrots, onion, garlic, and basil topped with avocado. With light coconut milk and chicken stock 

 

PM Snack:

2 plums

 

Dinner:

My version of bangers and mash: sweet potato/apple mash w/coconut oil & milk apple-chicken sausage w/carmelized onions and spinach

 

Oct. 10

Breakfast:

2 c coffee with coconut milk

2 poached eggs w/leftover apple-chicken sausage w/carmelized onions and spinach

 

AM snack: 

2 plums

 

Lunch: 

My version of bangers and mash: sweet potato/apple mash w/coconut oil & milk apple-chicken sausage w/carmelized onions and spinach

 

PM snack:

2 plums

1/3 c pistachios

 

Dinner:

Spaghetti squash with Turkey and veggie spaghetti sauce

 

Oct. 11

Brunch:

2 c coffee with coconut milk

Scrambled eggs with spinach and chicken-apple sausage, topped with salsa

apple slices

 

PM Snack:

2 plums

 

Dinner:

Spaghetti squash with Turkey and veggie spaghetti sauce

apple slices

 

Oct. 12

Breakfast:

2 c coffee with coconut milk

Scrambled eggs with spinach, topped with salsa

1 plum

 

Lunch:

Tuna salad w/homemade mayo on Romaine leaves

Carrot sticks

1/3 c pistachios

 

Dinner:

Turkey and veggie spaghetti sauce (no spaghetti)

Roasted delicata squash, apples, and red onions w/Chinese 5 spice & avocado oil

1 C orange juice

 

Oct. 13

Breakfast:

2 c coffee with coconut milk

1 C Roasted delicata squash, apples, and red onions w/Chinese 5 spice & avocado oil - topped with 1 tbsp sliced almonds

 

Lunch:

Tuna salad w/homemade mayo on Romaine leaves

Carrot sticks

 

Dinner:

2 C Roasted delicata squash, apples, and onions w/Chinese 5 spice & coconut oil - topped with 2 tbsp sliced almonds and splash of hemp milk

 

Oct. 14

Breakfast:

2 c coffee with coconut milk

1 C Roasted delicata squash, apples, and onions w/Chinese 5 spice & coconut oil - topped with 1 tbsp sliced almonds and splash of hemp milk

 

Lunch:

Tuna salad w/homemade mayo on Romaine leaves

1/3 c pistachios

 

Dinner:

Spinach salad w/hardboiled egg, bacon, red onions, red peppers, tomato w/vinegar & olive oil dressing

October Renewal: Part 1

I know Spring is the traditional season for big cleaning, new beginnings, etc. But I always feel the urge for renewal in October. The crisp, clear days, vivid colors on all the trees, and scent of Fall in the air whisper to me: pay attention. It isn't the hustle-bustle cleaning of Spring. It is a mindful cleansing that comes in Autumn.

I decided that part of that cleansing this year would include 30 days following the Whole30 way of eating. Basically, this means I eat lots of vegetables, fruit, meat/seafood, eggs, and some nuts and seeds and specific fats. What I am choosing to abstain from for 30 days: added sugar of any kind (real or artificial), alcohol, grains (even the ones without gluten), legumes (including soy in all its forms), dairy, carrageenan, MSG, and added sulfites. This requires really reading labels and knowing my food. Most purchased chicken broth, for example, has sugar added and soy oil too. What I purchased tasted the same and cost about the same too, go figure. I've opted to use organic ingredients as much as I possibly can and favor local foods as well.

Now I don't plan to give up all of these things forever and I think some of the science behind their reasoning has not been conclusively proven. Different people can argue opposing ideas with the same study results. I'm also not doing this to deprive myself or lose weight. I do expect there will be some long-term changes. What? We'll have to see what October brings.

As I said, this is about renewal. About conscious consumption. About choosing. About focus. About preparation and anticipation. About challenge. About strength. About awareness.

Enough of all that; you want to know if what I'm eating is awful or awesome. Well, not everything has been awesome, but nothing has been awful. Here are some highlights:

Breakfast is mostly eggs, scrambled or poached, with various veggies added. But this egg baked in a tomato grown in a friend's garden was notable. Next time I would probably hollow out the tomato the night before and let it drain on paper towels as it gave off quite a bit of liquid that I had to drain off.

Egg baked in hollowed out tomato. Baked at 350 for about 25 min.

For lunch I usually take dinner leftovers. However, I did make some crab cakes from Dungeness crab Rob and I caught the week before and I froze planning for this month. The binder in them is coconut flour and egg. Added chopped red peppers and green onions, a bit of regular mustard, and some seasoning - mix gently. I put them in silicone muffin cups and pressed lightly, then baked at 375 for about 20 min. or so. Once cooled a bit they popped right out and were easy to freeze for later. I put some in a tomato like the egg above and ate it right away. So good! Here are some crab cakes over wilted spinach and topped with salsa:

The lighting at work isn't great, but it tasted good.

 Two dinners stand out. One is a dill-scented tomato-sweet potato soup that made terrific leftovers and I sometimes added chicken-apple sausage to so it would be a bit more substantial. The other was cod, spinach, and roasted tomatoes and red onions braised in orange juice over purple-skinned potato. I used a bit of left over braising liquid and vegetables in eggs the next morning. Devine.

The soup ingredients and directions:
2-3 tsp coconut oil or avocado oil
2 sweet potatoes, peeled and chopped into 1" pieces
4 C chopped tomatoes (I had a mix of types and colors from friend's garden and CSA)
1 chopped onion
4 C vegetable broth (no added vegetable oil, sugar, MSG, etc. weird stuff gets added where it isn't needed)
2 bay leaves
Season to taste with: salt, pepper, dill, red pepper flakes if you like

In a dutch oven or large soup pot, warm oil and add onion, sweet potatoes, and bay leaves to cook and caramelize a little - 5-10 min. Add tomatoes and a bit of salt and pepper and cook another 5 min. until bright. Add the broth. Bring to a boil, cover, reduce heat to a simmer and let cook for about 20 min. until sweet potatoes are soft. If using fresh dill, add now; if using dried add with broth. Remove from heat and remove bay leaves. Blend with an immersion blender until smooth. (Or let cool a bit and blend in batches in a blender.) Taste and add seasonings as you like. I added chopped chicken-apple sausage, warmed in a pan, for some meals. It wasn't easy to find one without added sweeteners - or soy, cheese, etc., etc. Got mine at Costco. Soup alone is good warm or cold. I'll note that I didn't peel my tomatoes. I think the skins blend up fine, but if they bother you then by all means go through the hassle of removing them.

Soup with sausage added on top in my favorite soup mug.

The braised cod ingredients and directions:
First, roast 4 cups of chopped tomatoes, 1 chopped red onion, 2 garlic cloves w/drizzle of avocado oil and seasoned with salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes to taste at 400 for about 40 min. This part can be made a day or so in advance. I used about 1/3 of this in the braise and saved the rest to top eggs and hash browns a couple of mornings. If you are making more than 2 cod portions you'll need more of the roasted veggies.

Cod portions for # you are making
1.5 or so tsp avocado oil
Roasted veggies described above
Couple 2-3 big handfuls spinach (chopped if not using the baby leaf type)
Orange juice (100% juice - nothing added) to cover at least 1/2 way up the fish
Seasonings to taste

Warm oil in the pan and add fish. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and quickly sear on each side over medium to medium-high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low and add roasted veggies around a bit on top of fish. Add orange juice so it is almost 1/2 way up the fish. Add handfuls of spinach. It cooks way down, I promise. Top with a bit more juice. Sprinkle salt and pepper on top of spinach. Cover and let cook until the fish is done. It only takes about 6 minutes depending upon thickness. I served over a half of a baked purple-skinned potato. (I needed the potato because I ate this after a run.)

I really enjoyed all the flavor layers in this dish. It felt like a treat.

Tonight I made a spicy curry with chicken and CSA vegetables, but I've already got a curry recipe in the last year that can be adapted so won't post that. But I will say I ate it al fresco, by candle and backyard string lights, and I truly believe preparing our spaces help us be mindful of our intent in that space.

What is October whispering to you in this moment?


Here is the complete food log for week one, if anyone is interested. (Food nerds like me.)

Oct. 1
Breakfast: 
2 cups of coffee w/light coconut milk
1 baked egg in a tomato ramekin w/salt & pepper and 1/2 tsp salsa

AM snack:
1 small apple

Lunch:
2 small crab cakes over wilted spinach with 1.5 tbsp salsa
small Banana

Dinner:
1.5 c Tomato-Sweet potato soup w/chicken apple sausage
2 plums

Oct. 2
Breakfast:
2 cups of coffee w/light coconut milk
1/2 chicken apple sausage

AM snack:
small banana

Lunch:
2 c Tomato-Sweet potato soup w/chicken apple sausage
2 plums

PM snack:
1/4 c cashews

Dinner:
Cod, spinach, and roasted tomatoes & red onions braised in orange juice
1/2 purple potato

Oct. 3
Breakfast:
2 cups of coffee w/light coconut milk
1/2 purple potato hashbrowns
2 scrambled eggs, topped with leftover spinach, and roasted tomatoes & red onions with some braising juices

Lunch:
2 c Tomato-Sweet potato soup
2 plums

Dinner:
2 c Tomato-Sweet potato soup w/chicken apple sausage

Oct. 4
Breakfast:
2 cups of coffee w/light coconut milk
1/2 purple potato hashbrowns
2 scrambled eggs, topped with leftover spinach, and roasted tomatoes & red onions with some braising juices

Lunch:
Spinach salad with broiled salmon (1/2), hardboiled egg, tomato, sliced almonds, and orange vinaigrette 
half apple

Dinner:
Chicken roasted with apples, onions, fennel, purple potato, sweet potato (apple cores in chickens and 1/2 C each of apple cider vinegar and water added to pan) Served with pan juices thickened with coconut flour
1 C OJ

Oct. 5
Breakfast:
2 cups of coffee w/light coconut milk
Banana

Lunch:
Chicken roasted with apples, onions, fennel, purple potato, sweet potato (apple cores in chickens and 1/2 C each of apple cider vinegar and water added to pan) 

Dinner:
Spinach salad with roasted chicken, apples, asian pears, carrots, red pepper, hardboiled egg, fennel, avocado, and sliced almonds with orange vinaigrette
Remaining 1/4 apple and asian pear sliced on the side

Oct. 6
Breakfast:
1 cup of coffee w/light coconut milk
2 eggs scrambled with 1/2 salmon filet and roasted tomatoes & red onions 

Lunch:
Chicken roasted with apples, onions, fennel, purple potato, sweet potato

PM Snack:
Banana

Dinner:
Spinach salad with roasted chicken, apples, asian pears, carrots, red pepper, hardboiled egg, fennel, avocado, and sliced almonds with orange vinaigrette

Oct. 7
Breakfast:
2.5 c coffee with unsweetened hemp milk
2 poached eggs with tbsp salsa
1 purple plum

Lunch:
1 c Tomato-Sweet potato soup w/chicken apple sausage
Roasted chicken slices

PM snack:
Banana


Dinner:
Curry with roasted chicken, yellow squash, green cabbage, carrots, onion, garlic, and basil topped with avocado. With light coconut milk and chicken stock